One Last Gift

Perhaps, like most of you, my mind has been consumed with gifts.  Giving them, receiving them and even exchanging them.  Today I may be a little overwhelmed with the whole gift thingy, but I have to admit, I love to give gifts.  Not just at Christmas, anytime of the year.  Whether it's the gift of kind words in a note or  the gift of warm baked goods or the gift of a material thing, I think it's fun to give people gifts.  My favorite time to give a gift is when someone is not expecting it.  I love to see their eyes light up with the encouragement of knowing someone was thinking of them.

When I think about gifts I have received I can't help but think of the gift of forgiveness.  Perhaps the freshness of the LORD's love and forgiveness is on my mind because of celebrating Jesus' birthday this past week.  What a testimony of God's goodness!

Forgiveness is a unique gift.  It's a gift that needs to be shared in order to be kept.  A gift that needs to be given in order to be received. In Matthew chapter 6 verses 14 & 15, Jesus says "For if you forgive men when they sin against you, your heavenly Father will also forgive you.  But if you do not forgive men their sins, your Father will not forgive your sins."  As I ponder these thoughts, my heart awakens to a determined desire...to put forgiveness at the top of my gift giving list.

Father, please give me the desire and the ability to give the gift of forgiveness.  It may be the hardest gift I've ever given...some may not even deserve to be forgiven.  Please remind me that there are things that I too do not deserve but Your grace covers me fully.  Please help me...

Small Faith - Mighty God

Recently, some friends and I were talking about faith.  As we went our separate ways questions began to swim in my mind, tempting me to think that all that happens to me, my family, and my friends is dependent upon my level of faith. What if I fail all my loved ones by not having enough faith?  If only I had more faith then I bet something better would have happened!  If only I had more faith then I'm sure this would never have happened!  Ahhhhh!!!!  My mind was racing around a hamster wheel of "if only's".

When the clamoring of my mind finally subsided, I remembered the true story of three men who were devoted followers of the One true God.  When the king of Babylon ordered all of his people to fall down and worship an image of gold, instead of God, they refused.  The king, being furious with their disobedience, ordered to have them thrown into a blazing furnace, heated seven times hotter than the usual.  Knowing what lay before them, the men did not deny their beliefs but stood by them, despite the threats.

Shadrach, Meshach and Abednego, the names of the three men, came out of the inferno without even a hair on their heads being singed.  But what if they died in the fiery furnace?  Would it be that their faith was not strong enough?  Did they live through the fire because they had so much faith?  Standing at the door of the furnace, with the blazing heat tormenting them, they told the king, "If we are thrown into the blazing furnace, the God we serve is able to save us from it, and He will rescue us from your hand, O king.  But even if He does not, we want you to know, O king, that we will not serve your gods or worship the image of gold you have set up." Shadrach, Meshach and Abednego did not know if they would get out of the furnace alive, but they refused put their faith in their circumstance.  They put their faith in God, the One who posses the power, willing to serve Him, no matter what the cost.    

These thoughts trail me back to something Jesus said about faith. In the Bible Jesus says "...if you have faith as small as a mustard seed, you can say to this mountain  'Move from here to there' and it will move."  I was told that a mustard seed is one of the smallest agricultural seeds.  Perhaps what Jesus is saying is: It's not the amount of faith I have, it's Who I put my faith in.

Faith is a tough topic to write about.  I just covered one aspect of faith but there are many more avenues we could discuss.  Maybe in the months to come God will have me share more about faith, but for today I want to encourage you to remember, faith is not the power agent.  Faith brings us into the presence of the Almighty who is the All Powerful.

Thank You, LORD! 

**If you would like to read the whole story of Shadrach, Meshach and Abednego you can find it in the Old Testament of the Bible in the Book of Daniel Chapter 3.
**Jesus talks about faith the size of a mustard seed in the New Testament of the Bible in the Book of Matthew Chapter 17.

BIGGER, Better, Mooorrreee!!

When I was in college the pastor at the church I went to gave a sermon entitled "Bigger, Better, More".  He went on to highlight how we, as consumers in America, want bigger and better things and more stuff.  It is interesting to think about, isn't it?  Anyway...  

My mind has been coming back to this phrase a bit more lately.  Not along the same lines that the pastor was speaking of that day.  I have been reflecting more on the spiritual side of bigger, better, more.  For many years I have had this longing in my heart to serve the LORD and to serve Him in a BIG way.  I mean to really put my neck on the line.  To do something really great to show God and the world how much I love Him and long for His Presence.    

LORD, please help me to serve You in bigger, better, more ways.  As this prayer has been spoken from my heart in various ways in the last year, the Almighty began to open my eyes to see how He is using me bigger, better, more.  He showed me bigger is when I offer a hug to a friend who is hurting.  He showed me better is holding my tongue when all I want to do is tell someone how right I am and how wrong he/she is.  He showed me more is tenderly embracing my daughter or son when they are having a bad day.  He showed me bigger, better, more is walking faithfully by my Master and loving those He allows me the privilege to walk beside.   

There is a true story about a man, named Philip, who loved the LORD.  One day Philip was asked by the LORD to take a walk on a desert road.  Obediently Philip started on his journey.   Along the way, he heard a man reading from a Book in the Bible.  (In this time and place it was customary to read out loud to yourself.)  When Philip heard this man reading from the Book of Isaiah he felt prompted by God to ask the man if he knew what he was reading.  The man denied knowing what the Words meant.  Philip took the opportunity to explain God's Word to the man and the man came to know the Truth about Jesus.  

It would be easy to question God's calling on Philip's journey.  After all Philip only had the audience of one man that day.  If I don't have a perspective of love I can pass by people thinking that they are only one person in a world full of hurt and disillusionment.  But God doesn't see us that way.   He loves so lavishly He sent His One and Only Son to die for us.  If the Creator of the universe asked Philip to go on a journey to reach the heart of a man stumbling over some Book in the Bible why wouldn't He send me to wrap my arms around a lonely woman at a nursing home?        

By God's grace, bigger, better, more, comes not from what I do for the LORD but what He does through me when I am obedient to Him.  Maybe some day God will ask me to do something that would be huge even in the world's eyes, but for today may I honor Him by loving those He graciously places in my life.  May I not miss these divine opportunities by looking for bigger, better, more.  

(If you want to read the whole story about Philip go to the Book of Acts in the Bible.  It is in Chapter 8 verses 26-40.)

Fear Factor

One day this summer I was at a store with my daughter.  As we were picking out some toothpaste  my attention was drawn to a lovely middle aged woman who had special needs.  She was speaking to herself, barely above a whisper, wondering what some items cost.  Because of her height disadvantage she could not see the prices of the product she was searching for.  I walked up beside her and tried to answer some of the questions she had.  As we talked I discovered that she came to the store with a friend but no longer knew where that friend was.  She asked me if I would be willing to help her find her friend.  For nearly an hour we walked the aisles searching for this mystery lady.  The more we looked without success the more fearful and anxious our new friend became.

I suggested we sit down by the pharmacy (the last place she was seen) and wait for her there.  But our friend insisted on searching down every aisle.  It was an awful feeling watching the fear build in her eyes every time we went down an empty aisle.  I kept thinking, if only we could sit and wait I'm sure your friend would find you much quicker.  But we kept walking and searching aimlessly.  Finally, after searching much of the store we found her friend, very close to the pharmacy.

As I left the store that day, I wondered how many times I let fear rule my footsteps.  Some of us can identify with letting our fears drive us.  Just like our lost friend searching the aisles aimlessly, we may keep on moving hoping that at the next corner our fears will be extinguished only to find more fears waiting to announce themselves.  So we keep going, trying to outrun the fears.

Others allow our fears to immobilizes us.  We're stuck, not willing to move.  What if I fail...what if I look silly...what if I loose control...what if something happens to a loved one...what if they reject me...what if nobody notices...what if I can't keep up...what if I say something wrong...what if ...???  

As the LORD clears the cobwebs from my mind that these questions leave I have a choice to make.  Am I going to choose to live in the prison of fear?  Or in the freedom of faith knowing that no matter what happens I am deeply loved, completely forgiven, fully pleasing, totally accepted by the Almighty and complete in Christ?

Father, please help me to live a life of faith in You.
       

What Now, LORD?

Today I come to the keyboard with a heavy heart.  If I tried to write this post last week at this time I would have been typing with tears rolling off my chin.  Today I type with my hands trembling.  I wonder who am I to be grieving so deeply when I only knew the girls from from a distance.  Maybe I should start at the beginning.....


I met the mama years ago.  Their family just moved to River Falls and our children were involved in the same library program.  I liked this lady from the minute we were introduced.  After a few play dates I could easily call her my friend.  I enjoyed her spunk for life and her desire to love others.  Time rolled on and this family moved away and we lost contact with each other.  Many months later we were at a school function and I happen to run into her once again.  Baffled I ask what she was doing in River Falls and she explained how they moved back.  Delighted we parted ways hoping to reconnect.  


Life goes on and we would see each other here and there but never had the chance to reconnect the way we did when we first met.  Then I got the phone call that will forever change the lives of many in the River Falls community.  Please believe me when I say it is the most horrific news you could hear.  I will not go into the details of the circumstance.  There are too many people still grieving to retell the story in print one more time.  I am committed to share my personal experience in this blog post.     


With the memorial service still fresh in my mind I can't get passed the question of  "What now, LORD?".  What now for this beautiful young mom whose arms are empty and longing just to hold her baby girls one more time?  What now for the grandparents that will never again hear those sweet voices on the phone?What now for an elementary school that will miss the smiles of two lively little ladies in the classrooms, hallways, lunchroom and playground?  What now for a middle school who will never get to know the delight of one so fresh and young?  What now for a community that has been robbed of its sense of security?  What now, LORD? What now?


I don't think I have ever cried so much because of the pain of another....the pain of the mama.  LORD, how do I smile and enjoy life knowing someone I once called a dear friend is hurting so bad?  How is it that I want to be there for her to offer words of prayer and comfort yet not wanting the reminder of the deepest hurt one could live with? How do I look forward to sending my kids to school this fall when I know there is so much grieve in the building you can smell it just walking by?   How do I answer the question of "Why Mama, why did this happen?" when I don't know myself?  What now, LORD?

I certainly don't ask these questions out of doubt or disbelief in the LORD Almighty's love or ability.  I have walked with the LORD many years and not once has He ever let me walk alone.  I know enough in times like these I would be the worst kind of fool to turn my back on the One that is faithful, even faithful to the point of death.  No, I ask these questions because of my relationship with the Almighty.  I am clinging to Him as a child clings to legs of a parent.  Nothing makes sense right now.  But in the midst of the chaos the Father God is the Rock on which we will not be shaken.

"Because of the LORD's great love we are not consumed, for His compassions never fail. They are new every morning; great is Your faithfulness." Lamentations 3:22-23

So, I leave the questions with the Master, not knowing any answers, maybe never knowing.  But I know one thing for sure....the LORD is worthy to be trusted.

May I rest in You, faithful Father.  You are my Life. 

A Human Hazard

When someone wants to make a point in the absurdity of a comparison they often say "It's like comparing apples to oranges!".  Although apples and oranges share the same food group they are so different.    Apples are generally sweet while oranges tend to have a citrus flavor.  Apples can be a variety of different colors and oranges...well oranges are orange.  Apples can be eaten by simply biting into them or peeling them.  Oranges need to be peeled to get to the yummy part.  I could go on listing the differences of an apple to an orange but I think you get the point.

In the same way, as a woman it would be ridiculous for me to compare myself to other women.  But I do it all the time.  Human nature, so I am told...but it sure is destructive to self worth.  I find myself living in a maze of comparisons.  I start each day with hopes to glorify the Almighty with the "talents" He has given me.  If I am not careful I find myself bumping into human walls that I set up as obstacles.

I come across my first hurdle.  A woman who is slimmer than I am and I berate myself.  I look at another woman and feel shameful because she is a working mom, is president of the PTO, and is always trying new recipes that her family loves.  I turn around just in time to see another woman with her arms full of little ones while homeschooling her oldest three.  I look behind another curtain and see a woman who has the looks of a supermodel and the character of Mother Teresa.  Arrggg!!  It's to much!  I want to close my eyes, plug my ears and lock myself in the basement so I can't see another woman whom, in my mind, I fall very short.  

Then I have those days where every hurdle is the other side of my ego.  I am looking good!  I got all the laundry done with time to spare.  I take the time to play with my children.  My husband is happy and my kids are content.  I am so thankful I don't live the life of Dirty Doris, who sends her kids to school smelling like toilet water......Oh my Flaunting Flo do you own any clothes that cover your midsection?.....Oh! I am so glad I am not like Working Wanda.  She spends so much time working, her kids are really paying the price.  Poor things, I am so glad I am here for my children.


SMACK!  The voice of the Holy Spirit wakes me up!!  Who do I think I am....tearing others down to build myself up!  When am I going to get it?!  Just because Butty Bertha has a bigger bum than I do, I am not any better than her!!!


Some of the the names I used were meant to add humor but in all seriousness this comparison trap is very harmful.  Just because a woman walks into a room and I compare myself to her and find myself either lacking or advancing doesn't change who I am to God.  God made me to be me.  Although there are many women out there it's silly to compare myself to any of them.  It's kinda like comparing apples to oranges....how absurd!    

I am so sorry, Father.  Forgive me for not only comparing myself to Your other daughters but  judging them also.  May I stop sizing up every woman I see with hopes that I come out on top.  You created all of us to be different.  Help me to bring You glory by being the best me I can be.  Only with Your power can I live to my fullest potential and encourage others to live to theirs.  Thank You for Your patience with me.        

Exceeding the Weight Limit

Last month, at 4:30 a.m., I received one of the worst wake-up calls ever.  My sister called to tell me to pray for Isaac, our brother's son, who was in the operating room fighting for his life.  I found out the details, hung up the phone, and jump on my treadmill for a serious time of prayer.  Throughout the day I had a constant awareness of this little boy's need for God's grace and mercy.  At the end of the day I was exhausted spiritually, physically, and emotionally.

How could I relent on my continual pursuit of going before the LORD on Isaac's behalf?   I needed to stay strong and continue to intercede.  I was so burdened to keep praying that I could hardly keep my head up.  When I heard the buzz of my cell phone I was hesitant to even look at it for fear of another request.  Oh LORD, how can I carry any more?  I can't even carry myself right now!  But the power of the unknown won and I peered at my phone through swollen eyelids.

The text was from a very dear friend and family member.  She did not know what was going on with Isaac but sent a "Hi!  How's it going?" message.  The whisper of Hope came....Let her know what is going on with Isaac.  But LORD, it's my burden to carry.  I can't ask her to help me.  Yes, child, you can because it is Mine to carry...you need someone to help you give it to Me.  That conversation with the Almighty started a marathon of calls and texts to family and friends who would stand in the gap with me.  It was late before I finally got to bed but I was able to rest because I was not carrying this burden alone any longer.  I had warrior friends with me bringing it to the Master...the One who was strong enough to carry Isaac and his family in their time of need.

Recently, I had the opportunity to pray with a friend on the phone.  As we were praying a picture came into my mind.  The two of us, sister in Christ, were holding hands going before our Daddy to speak to Him on behalf of each other.  Of course we can boldly go before Him on our own.  But when I am blinded by the needs and burdens of this world it's hard to see beyond myself to the One I am living for.  He knows when I need a faithful friend to go with me before His throne.


Thank You, Father, for Your perfect insight and timing....for knowing when we need a helping hand....even when we need one to bring us to You.