Recently, some friends and I were talking about faith. As we went our separate ways questions began to swim in my mind, tempting me to think that all that happens to me, my family, and my friends is dependent upon my level of faith. What if I fail all my loved ones by not having enough faith? If only I had more faith then I bet something better would have happened! If only I had more faith then I'm sure this would never have happened! Ahhhhh!!!! My mind was racing around a hamster wheel of "if only's".
When the clamoring of my mind finally subsided, I remembered the true story of three men who were devoted followers of the One true God. When the king of Babylon ordered all of his people to fall down and worship an image of gold, instead of God, they refused. The king, being furious with their disobedience, ordered to have them thrown into a blazing furnace, heated seven times hotter than the usual. Knowing what lay before them, the men did not deny their beliefs but stood by them, despite the threats.
Shadrach, Meshach and Abednego, the names of the three men, came out of the inferno without even a hair on their heads being singed. But what if they died in the fiery furnace? Would it be that their faith was not strong enough? Did they live through the fire because they had so much faith? Standing at the door of the furnace, with the blazing heat tormenting them, they told the king, "If we are thrown into the blazing furnace, the God we serve is able to save us from it, and He will rescue us from your hand, O king. But even if He does not, we want you to know, O king, that we will not serve your gods or worship the image of gold you have set up." Shadrach, Meshach and Abednego did not know if they would get out of the furnace alive, but they refused put their faith in their circumstance. They put their faith in God, the One who posses the power, willing to serve Him, no matter what the cost.
These thoughts trail me back to something Jesus said about faith. In the Bible Jesus says "...if you have faith as small as a mustard seed, you can say to this mountain 'Move from here to there' and it will move." I was told that a mustard seed is one of the smallest agricultural seeds. Perhaps what Jesus is saying is: It's not the amount of faith I have, it's Who I put my faith in.
Faith is a tough topic to write about. I just covered one aspect of faith but there are many more avenues we could discuss. Maybe in the months to come God will have me share more about faith, but for today I want to encourage you to remember, faith is not the power agent. Faith brings us into the presence of the Almighty who is the All Powerful.
Thank You, LORD!
**If you would like to read the whole story of Shadrach, Meshach and Abednego you can find it in the Old Testament of the Bible in the Book of Daniel Chapter 3.
**Jesus talks about faith the size of a mustard seed in the New Testament of the Bible in the Book of Matthew Chapter 17.
Friday, November 30, 2012
Tuesday, October 16, 2012
BIGGER, Better, Mooorrreee!!
When I was in college the pastor at the church I went to gave a sermon entitled "Bigger, Better, More". He went on to highlight how we, as consumers in America, want bigger and better things and more stuff. It is interesting to think about, isn't it? Anyway...
My mind has been coming back to this phrase a bit more lately. Not along the same lines that the pastor was speaking of that day. I have been reflecting more on the spiritual side of bigger, better, more. For many years I have had this longing in my heart to serve the LORD and to serve Him in a BIG way. I mean to really put my neck on the line. To do something really great to show God and the world how much I love Him and long for His Presence.
LORD, please help me to serve You in bigger, better, more ways. As this prayer has been spoken from my heart in various ways in the last year, the Almighty began to open my eyes to see how He is using me bigger, better, more. He showed me bigger is when I offer a hug to a friend who is hurting. He showed me better is holding my tongue when all I want to do is tell someone how right I am and how wrong he/she is. He showed me more is tenderly embracing my daughter or son when they are having a bad day. He showed me bigger, better, more is walking faithfully by my Master and loving those He allows me the privilege to walk beside.
There is a true story about a man, named Philip, who loved the LORD. One day Philip was asked by the LORD to take a walk on a desert road. Obediently Philip started on his journey. Along the way, he heard a man reading from a Book in the Bible. (In this time and place it was customary to read out loud to yourself.) When Philip heard this man reading from the Book of Isaiah he felt prompted by God to ask the man if he knew what he was reading. The man denied knowing what the Words meant. Philip took the opportunity to explain God's Word to the man and the man came to know the Truth about Jesus.
It would be easy to question God's calling on Philip's journey. After all Philip only had the audience of one man that day. If I don't have a perspective of love I can pass by people thinking that they are only one person in a world full of hurt and disillusionment. But God doesn't see us that way. He loves so lavishly He sent His One and Only Son to die for us. If the Creator of the universe asked Philip to go on a journey to reach the heart of a man stumbling over some Book in the Bible why wouldn't He send me to wrap my arms around a lonely woman at a nursing home?
By God's grace, bigger, better, more, comes not from what I do for the LORD but what He does through me when I am obedient to Him. Maybe some day God will ask me to do something that would be huge even in the world's eyes, but for today may I honor Him by loving those He graciously places in my life. May I not miss these divine opportunities by looking for bigger, better, more.
(If you want to read the whole story about Philip go to the Book of Acts in the Bible. It is in Chapter 8 verses 26-40.)
My mind has been coming back to this phrase a bit more lately. Not along the same lines that the pastor was speaking of that day. I have been reflecting more on the spiritual side of bigger, better, more. For many years I have had this longing in my heart to serve the LORD and to serve Him in a BIG way. I mean to really put my neck on the line. To do something really great to show God and the world how much I love Him and long for His Presence.
LORD, please help me to serve You in bigger, better, more ways. As this prayer has been spoken from my heart in various ways in the last year, the Almighty began to open my eyes to see how He is using me bigger, better, more. He showed me bigger is when I offer a hug to a friend who is hurting. He showed me better is holding my tongue when all I want to do is tell someone how right I am and how wrong he/she is. He showed me more is tenderly embracing my daughter or son when they are having a bad day. He showed me bigger, better, more is walking faithfully by my Master and loving those He allows me the privilege to walk beside.
There is a true story about a man, named Philip, who loved the LORD. One day Philip was asked by the LORD to take a walk on a desert road. Obediently Philip started on his journey. Along the way, he heard a man reading from a Book in the Bible. (In this time and place it was customary to read out loud to yourself.) When Philip heard this man reading from the Book of Isaiah he felt prompted by God to ask the man if he knew what he was reading. The man denied knowing what the Words meant. Philip took the opportunity to explain God's Word to the man and the man came to know the Truth about Jesus.
It would be easy to question God's calling on Philip's journey. After all Philip only had the audience of one man that day. If I don't have a perspective of love I can pass by people thinking that they are only one person in a world full of hurt and disillusionment. But God doesn't see us that way. He loves so lavishly He sent His One and Only Son to die for us. If the Creator of the universe asked Philip to go on a journey to reach the heart of a man stumbling over some Book in the Bible why wouldn't He send me to wrap my arms around a lonely woman at a nursing home?
By God's grace, bigger, better, more, comes not from what I do for the LORD but what He does through me when I am obedient to Him. Maybe some day God will ask me to do something that would be huge even in the world's eyes, but for today may I honor Him by loving those He graciously places in my life. May I not miss these divine opportunities by looking for bigger, better, more.
(If you want to read the whole story about Philip go to the Book of Acts in the Bible. It is in Chapter 8 verses 26-40.)
Thursday, September 13, 2012
Fear Factor
One day this summer I was at a store with my daughter. As we were picking out some toothpaste my attention was drawn to a lovely middle aged woman who had special needs. She was speaking to herself, barely above a whisper, wondering what some items cost. Because of her height disadvantage she could not see the prices of the product she was searching for. I walked up beside her and tried to answer some of the questions she had. As we talked I discovered that she came to the store with a friend but no longer knew where that friend was. She asked me if I would be willing to help her find her friend. For nearly an hour we walked the aisles searching for this mystery lady. The more we looked without success the more fearful and anxious our new friend became.
I suggested we sit down by the pharmacy (the last place she was seen) and wait for her there. But our friend insisted on searching down every aisle. It was an awful feeling watching the fear build in her eyes every time we went down an empty aisle. I kept thinking, if only we could sit and wait I'm sure your friend would find you much quicker. But we kept walking and searching aimlessly. Finally, after searching much of the store we found her friend, very close to the pharmacy.
As I left the store that day, I wondered how many times I let fear rule my footsteps. Some of us can identify with letting our fears drive us. Just like our lost friend searching the aisles aimlessly, we may keep on moving hoping that at the next corner our fears will be extinguished only to find more fears waiting to announce themselves. So we keep going, trying to outrun the fears.
Others allow our fears to immobilizes us. We're stuck, not willing to move. What if I fail...what if I look silly...what if I loose control...what if something happens to a loved one...what if they reject me...what if nobody notices...what if I can't keep up...what if I say something wrong...what if ...???
As the LORD clears the cobwebs from my mind that these questions leave I have a choice to make. Am I going to choose to live in the prison of fear? Or in the freedom of faith knowing that no matter what happens I am deeply loved, completely forgiven, fully pleasing, totally accepted by the Almighty and complete in Christ?
Father, please help me to live a life of faith in You.
I suggested we sit down by the pharmacy (the last place she was seen) and wait for her there. But our friend insisted on searching down every aisle. It was an awful feeling watching the fear build in her eyes every time we went down an empty aisle. I kept thinking, if only we could sit and wait I'm sure your friend would find you much quicker. But we kept walking and searching aimlessly. Finally, after searching much of the store we found her friend, very close to the pharmacy.
As I left the store that day, I wondered how many times I let fear rule my footsteps. Some of us can identify with letting our fears drive us. Just like our lost friend searching the aisles aimlessly, we may keep on moving hoping that at the next corner our fears will be extinguished only to find more fears waiting to announce themselves. So we keep going, trying to outrun the fears.
Others allow our fears to immobilizes us. We're stuck, not willing to move. What if I fail...what if I look silly...what if I loose control...what if something happens to a loved one...what if they reject me...what if nobody notices...what if I can't keep up...what if I say something wrong...what if ...???
As the LORD clears the cobwebs from my mind that these questions leave I have a choice to make. Am I going to choose to live in the prison of fear? Or in the freedom of faith knowing that no matter what happens I am deeply loved, completely forgiven, fully pleasing, totally accepted by the Almighty and complete in Christ?
Father, please help me to live a life of faith in You.
Thursday, July 19, 2012
What Now, LORD?
Today I come to the keyboard with a heavy heart. If I tried to write this post last week at this time I would have been typing with tears rolling off my chin. Today I type with my hands trembling. I wonder who am I to be grieving so deeply when I only knew the girls from from a distance. Maybe I should start at the beginning.....
I met the mama years ago. Their family just moved to River Falls and our children were involved in the same library program. I liked this lady from the minute we were introduced. After a few play dates I could easily call her my friend. I enjoyed her spunk for life and her desire to love others. Time rolled on and this family moved away and we lost contact with each other. Many months later we were at a school function and I happen to run into her once again. Baffled I ask what she was doing in River Falls and she explained how they moved back. Delighted we parted ways hoping to reconnect.
Life goes on and we would see each other here and there but never had the chance to reconnect the way we did when we first met. Then I got the phone call that will forever change the lives of many in the River Falls community. Please believe me when I say it is the most horrific news you could hear. I will not go into the details of the circumstance. There are too many people still grieving to retell the story in print one more time. I am committed to share my personal experience in this blog post.
With the memorial service still fresh in my mind I can't get passed the question of "What now, LORD?". What now for this beautiful young mom whose arms are empty and longing just to hold her baby girls one more time? What now for the grandparents that will never again hear those sweet voices on the phone?What now for an elementary school that will miss the smiles of two lively little ladies in the classrooms, hallways, lunchroom and playground? What now for a middle school who will never get to know the delight of one so fresh and young? What now for a community that has been robbed of its sense of security? What now, LORD? What now?
I don't think I have ever cried so much because of the pain of another....the pain of the mama. LORD, how do I smile and enjoy life knowing someone I once called a dear friend is hurting so bad? How is it that I want to be there for her to offer words of prayer and comfort yet not wanting the reminder of the deepest hurt one could live with? How do I look forward to sending my kids to school this fall when I know there is so much grieve in the building you can smell it just walking by? How do I answer the question of "Why Mama, why did this happen?" when I don't know myself? What now, LORD?
I certainly don't ask these questions out of doubt or disbelief in the LORD Almighty's love or ability. I have walked with the LORD many years and not once has He ever let me walk alone. I know enough in times like these I would be the worst kind of fool to turn my back on the One that is faithful, even faithful to the point of death. No, I ask these questions because of my relationship with the Almighty. I am clinging to Him as a child clings to legs of a parent. Nothing makes sense right now. But in the midst of the chaos the Father God is the Rock on which we will not be shaken.
"Because of the LORD's great love we are not consumed, for His compassions never fail. They are new every morning; great is Your faithfulness." Lamentations 3:22-23
So, I leave the questions with the Master, not knowing any answers, maybe never knowing. But I know one thing for sure....the LORD is worthy to be trusted.
May I rest in You, faithful Father. You are my Life.
I met the mama years ago. Their family just moved to River Falls and our children were involved in the same library program. I liked this lady from the minute we were introduced. After a few play dates I could easily call her my friend. I enjoyed her spunk for life and her desire to love others. Time rolled on and this family moved away and we lost contact with each other. Many months later we were at a school function and I happen to run into her once again. Baffled I ask what she was doing in River Falls and she explained how they moved back. Delighted we parted ways hoping to reconnect.
Life goes on and we would see each other here and there but never had the chance to reconnect the way we did when we first met. Then I got the phone call that will forever change the lives of many in the River Falls community. Please believe me when I say it is the most horrific news you could hear. I will not go into the details of the circumstance. There are too many people still grieving to retell the story in print one more time. I am committed to share my personal experience in this blog post.
With the memorial service still fresh in my mind I can't get passed the question of "What now, LORD?". What now for this beautiful young mom whose arms are empty and longing just to hold her baby girls one more time? What now for the grandparents that will never again hear those sweet voices on the phone?What now for an elementary school that will miss the smiles of two lively little ladies in the classrooms, hallways, lunchroom and playground? What now for a middle school who will never get to know the delight of one so fresh and young? What now for a community that has been robbed of its sense of security? What now, LORD? What now?
I don't think I have ever cried so much because of the pain of another....the pain of the mama. LORD, how do I smile and enjoy life knowing someone I once called a dear friend is hurting so bad? How is it that I want to be there for her to offer words of prayer and comfort yet not wanting the reminder of the deepest hurt one could live with? How do I look forward to sending my kids to school this fall when I know there is so much grieve in the building you can smell it just walking by? How do I answer the question of "Why Mama, why did this happen?" when I don't know myself? What now, LORD?
I certainly don't ask these questions out of doubt or disbelief in the LORD Almighty's love or ability. I have walked with the LORD many years and not once has He ever let me walk alone. I know enough in times like these I would be the worst kind of fool to turn my back on the One that is faithful, even faithful to the point of death. No, I ask these questions because of my relationship with the Almighty. I am clinging to Him as a child clings to legs of a parent. Nothing makes sense right now. But in the midst of the chaos the Father God is the Rock on which we will not be shaken.
"Because of the LORD's great love we are not consumed, for His compassions never fail. They are new every morning; great is Your faithfulness." Lamentations 3:22-23
So, I leave the questions with the Master, not knowing any answers, maybe never knowing. But I know one thing for sure....the LORD is worthy to be trusted.
May I rest in You, faithful Father. You are my Life.
Wednesday, June 20, 2012
A Human Hazard
When someone wants to make a point in the absurdity of a comparison they often say "It's like comparing apples to oranges!". Although apples and oranges share the same food group they are so different. Apples are generally sweet while oranges tend to have a citrus flavor. Apples can be a variety of different colors and oranges...well oranges are orange. Apples can be eaten by simply biting into them or peeling them. Oranges need to be peeled to get to the yummy part. I could go on listing the differences of an apple to an orange but I think you get the point.
In the same way, as a woman it would be ridiculous for me to compare myself to other women. But I do it all the time. Human nature, so I am told...but it sure is destructive to self worth. I find myself living in a maze of comparisons. I start each day with hopes to glorify the Almighty with the "talents" He has given me. If I am not careful I find myself bumping into human walls that I set up as obstacles.
I come across my first hurdle. A woman who is slimmer than I am and I berate myself. I look at another woman and feel shameful because she is a working mom, is president of the PTO, and is always trying new recipes that her family loves. I turn around just in time to see another woman with her arms full of little ones while homeschooling her oldest three. I look behind another curtain and see a woman who has the looks of a supermodel and the character of Mother Teresa. Arrggg!! It's to much! I want to close my eyes, plug my ears and lock myself in the basement so I can't see another woman whom, in my mind, I fall very short.
I come across my first hurdle. A woman who is slimmer than I am and I berate myself. I look at another woman and feel shameful because she is a working mom, is president of the PTO, and is always trying new recipes that her family loves. I turn around just in time to see another woman with her arms full of little ones while homeschooling her oldest three. I look behind another curtain and see a woman who has the looks of a supermodel and the character of Mother Teresa. Arrggg!! It's to much! I want to close my eyes, plug my ears and lock myself in the basement so I can't see another woman whom, in my mind, I fall very short.
Then I have those days where every hurdle is the other side of my ego. I am looking good! I got all the laundry done with time to spare. I take the time to play with my children. My husband is happy and my kids are content. I am so thankful I don't live the life of Dirty Doris, who sends her kids to school smelling like toilet water......Oh my Flaunting Flo do you own any clothes that cover your midsection?.....Oh! I am so glad I am not like Working Wanda. She spends so much time working, her kids are really paying the price. Poor things, I am so glad I am here for my children.
SMACK! The voice of the Holy Spirit wakes me up!! Who do I think I am....tearing others down to build myself up! When am I going to get it?! Just because Butty Bertha has a bigger bum than I do, I am not any better than her!!!
Some of the the names I used were meant to add humor but in all seriousness this comparison trap is very harmful. Just because a woman walks into a room and I compare myself to her and find myself either lacking or advancing doesn't change who I am to God. God made me to be me. Although there are many women out there it's silly to compare myself to any of them. It's kinda like comparing apples to oranges....how absurd!
I am so sorry, Father. Forgive me for not only comparing myself to Your other daughters but judging them also. May I stop sizing up every woman I see with hopes that I come out on top. You created all of us to be different. Help me to bring You glory by being the best me I can be. Only with Your power can I live to my fullest potential and encourage others to live to theirs. Thank You for Your patience with me.
SMACK! The voice of the Holy Spirit wakes me up!! Who do I think I am....tearing others down to build myself up! When am I going to get it?! Just because Butty Bertha has a bigger bum than I do, I am not any better than her!!!
Some of the the names I used were meant to add humor but in all seriousness this comparison trap is very harmful. Just because a woman walks into a room and I compare myself to her and find myself either lacking or advancing doesn't change who I am to God. God made me to be me. Although there are many women out there it's silly to compare myself to any of them. It's kinda like comparing apples to oranges....how absurd!
I am so sorry, Father. Forgive me for not only comparing myself to Your other daughters but judging them also. May I stop sizing up every woman I see with hopes that I come out on top. You created all of us to be different. Help me to bring You glory by being the best me I can be. Only with Your power can I live to my fullest potential and encourage others to live to theirs. Thank You for Your patience with me.
Tuesday, April 17, 2012
Exceeding the Weight Limit
Last month, at 4:30 a.m., I received one of the worst wake-up calls ever. My sister called to tell me to pray for Isaac, our brother's son, who was in the operating room fighting for his life. I found out the details, hung up the phone, and jump on my treadmill for a serious time of prayer. Throughout the day I had a constant awareness of this little boy's need for God's grace and mercy. At the end of the day I was exhausted spiritually, physically, and emotionally.
How could I relent on my continual pursuit of going before the LORD on Isaac's behalf? I needed to stay strong and continue to intercede. I was so burdened to keep praying that I could hardly keep my head up. When I heard the buzz of my cell phone I was hesitant to even look at it for fear of another request. Oh LORD, how can I carry any more? I can't even carry myself right now! But the power of the unknown won and I peered at my phone through swollen eyelids.
The text was from a very dear friend and family member. She did not know what was going on with Isaac but sent a "Hi! How's it going?" message. The whisper of Hope came....Let her know what is going on with Isaac. But LORD, it's my burden to carry. I can't ask her to help me. Yes, child, you can because it is Mine to carry...you need someone to help you give it to Me. That conversation with the Almighty started a marathon of calls and texts to family and friends who would stand in the gap with me. It was late before I finally got to bed but I was able to rest because I was not carrying this burden alone any longer. I had warrior friends with me bringing it to the Master...the One who was strong enough to carry Isaac and his family in their time of need.
Recently, I had the opportunity to pray with a friend on the phone. As we were praying a picture came into my mind. The two of us, sister in Christ, were holding hands going before our Daddy to speak to Him on behalf of each other. Of course we can boldly go before Him on our own. But when I am blinded by the needs and burdens of this world it's hard to see beyond myself to the One I am living for. He knows when I need a faithful friend to go with me before His throne.
Thank You, Father, for Your perfect insight and timing....for knowing when we need a helping hand....even when we need one to bring us to You.
How could I relent on my continual pursuit of going before the LORD on Isaac's behalf? I needed to stay strong and continue to intercede. I was so burdened to keep praying that I could hardly keep my head up. When I heard the buzz of my cell phone I was hesitant to even look at it for fear of another request. Oh LORD, how can I carry any more? I can't even carry myself right now! But the power of the unknown won and I peered at my phone through swollen eyelids.
The text was from a very dear friend and family member. She did not know what was going on with Isaac but sent a "Hi! How's it going?" message. The whisper of Hope came....Let her know what is going on with Isaac. But LORD, it's my burden to carry. I can't ask her to help me. Yes, child, you can because it is Mine to carry...you need someone to help you give it to Me. That conversation with the Almighty started a marathon of calls and texts to family and friends who would stand in the gap with me. It was late before I finally got to bed but I was able to rest because I was not carrying this burden alone any longer. I had warrior friends with me bringing it to the Master...the One who was strong enough to carry Isaac and his family in their time of need.
Recently, I had the opportunity to pray with a friend on the phone. As we were praying a picture came into my mind. The two of us, sister in Christ, were holding hands going before our Daddy to speak to Him on behalf of each other. Of course we can boldly go before Him on our own. But when I am blinded by the needs and burdens of this world it's hard to see beyond myself to the One I am living for. He knows when I need a faithful friend to go with me before His throne.
Thank You, Father, for Your perfect insight and timing....for knowing when we need a helping hand....even when we need one to bring us to You.
Tuesday, March 6, 2012
Battle of My Lifetime
"I pray you find your identity in the LORD." About 10 years ago someone told me this was their all-time prayer request for me. What are you talking about?? My identity is in the LORD!! Isn't it? I mean, after all, I have been a believer in the LORD Jesus Christ as the Savior of my soul for many years. And I have wanted to follow Him as closely as I can. I expressed my "appreciation" all the while hoping they would become more enlightened about what I really needed from the Almighty.
As I reflected on my identity in the LORD I realized I didn't get what that meant. I could not get a good grasp on what an identity in the LORD looked like. LORD, what does it mean to have my identity in You? Please help me understand.
I often wrestle with these kinds of questions. Questions some would consider quite elementary, yet I find incredibly profound because I can't get a clear picture that both my mind and my heart agree with. At these times, I go directly to the Master of my heart and mind and ask Him to make sense of it all. And at the right moment, He reveals to me what I need to know.
Sometimes the LORD shows me the answer right away. With other questions He takes a bit more time, allowing me to seek Him a little more intensely. I have been searching for the answer to this question for over 10 years, maybe more without even knowing it. Along the way I learned a few things here and there. But nothing quenched the thirst that I had within me to understand what it means to have my identity in the LORD.
After years of seeking Him, He chose this week to give me a drink of water that quenched my thirst! He showed me an equation in my mind that makes sense in my heart as well:
As I reflected on my identity in the LORD I realized I didn't get what that meant. I could not get a good grasp on what an identity in the LORD looked like. LORD, what does it mean to have my identity in You? Please help me understand.
I often wrestle with these kinds of questions. Questions some would consider quite elementary, yet I find incredibly profound because I can't get a clear picture that both my mind and my heart agree with. At these times, I go directly to the Master of my heart and mind and ask Him to make sense of it all. And at the right moment, He reveals to me what I need to know.
Sometimes the LORD shows me the answer right away. With other questions He takes a bit more time, allowing me to seek Him a little more intensely. I have been searching for the answer to this question for over 10 years, maybe more without even knowing it. Along the way I learned a few things here and there. But nothing quenched the thirst that I had within me to understand what it means to have my identity in the LORD.
After years of seeking Him, He chose this week to give me a drink of water that quenched my thirst! He showed me an equation in my mind that makes sense in my heart as well:
Identity = What God thinks of me
Reputation = What people think of me
You know what else He told me....that sometimes I have to loose my reputation to keep my identity in Him.
I am only beginning to understand what it means to live for what God thinks of me. I will spend the rest of my life choosing to please the One who matters most. And if I please anyone else in the process...well, that would be nice.
Prayer Warrior....keep praying for me to find my identity in the LORD. This may be the biggest battle of my life.
Monday, February 13, 2012
Sea Sick
Last month my dad was scheduled to have surgery at a hospital about an hour and half from our home. I called him a few days before his scheduled surgery to see if he would like some visitors at the hospital. After a brief chat he said he would appreciate the visit. Once Jason and I prayed and talked about a few of the details I called my dad back and told him that I would be coming with my friend but Jason and the kids would be staying home.
On Monday afternoons I get together with two friends to pray. Coming to prayer time on the Monday of my dad's surgery week I was wrestling with the decision we made about going to see him. Was Jason really okay with picking up the kids from school, taking Gracie to the orthodontist, feeding them dinner, then getting Gracie to AWANA and Ethan to hockey? Should we bring the kids to see Grandpa? Did Dad really want a visitor? Or was he just being nice letting me come? Would He want to see me right after surgery? What if I get there and he is not doing well....what do I do then? Would he be to tired to talk? How in the world would I find my way around Mayo? What am I thinking....I cannot do this! To say my mind felt like a pinball machine was an understatement. I spread my doubts on the table for my prayer partners to have a look.
An interesting thing happened when I finished laying the last pinball on the table. I was immediately convicted of these verses ~
"If any of you lacks wisdom, he should ask God, who gives generously to all without finding fault, and it will be given to him. But when he asks, you must believe and not doubt, because he who doubts is like a wave of the sea, blown and tossed by the wind." (James 1:5-6 NIV)
I asked the LORD for wisdom then I doubted His leading. And truly my mind was like a wave of the sea....I should go...no it would be better not to go....but what happens if I don't go and something happens to Dad.....but the kids, is Jason really up for this....I don't think dad will want any visitors....what about the weather, it's February, roads could be icy....I am getting nauseous from the high waves of this sea! The result of not believing Him is what I experienced....a tidal wave of confusion.
The LORD wanted me to rest in Him and believe He would work everything out for everyone involved. I didn't need to worry about Jason, the kids, my dad, my friend, the timing of it, or the weather. When He showed me my lack of believe, I confessed and waited on Him to work in these areas for His glory.
The LORD is so faithful!!! My friend and I had a great bonding time on our little road trip to Mayo. Jason and the kids did terrific! The roads were clear. I had a wonderful visit with my dad. In fact, Dad has been out of the hospital for almost a month and each time I talk to him he thanks me for coming to the hospital.
When I ask the LORD for wisdom and trust Him for it, He gives me peace of mind. I get sick enough riding in a moving vehicle, I don't need any help from my lack of belief!! Father, help me to trust You. Please heal my unbelief.
Friday, January 27, 2012
Let's Have Some Fun!
I am currently co-facilitating an in-depth Bible study on God's Book of James. This study requires more work than I could have imagined. Not only do I get to spend a fair amount of time preparing to lead small and large group sessions, the LORD has also challenged me to devote a large amount of personal study to the Book of James.
This study has five Levels of Involvement. They all stack on top of each other. Level 1 is watching a weekly video; Level 2 is watching a weekly video and doing five days of homework; Level 3 is watching a weekly video, doing the homework and handwriting the Book of James; Level 4 is watching a weekly video, doing the weekly homework, handwriting the Book of James and reading articles on that week's study material; and Level 5 is watching the weekly videos, doing the weekly homework, handwriting the Book of James, reading the articles and memorizing the Book of James.
Each participant is encouraged to ask the LORD where their Level of Involvement should be. Because the LORD has challenged me to do all five Levels I constantly find myself in the Book of James. Preparing for small group, getting my thoughts together for large group sessions, doing my weekly homework, reading the articles, trying to memorize a few more verses....my mind is stuffed with James' words.
There may be a woman that is at the same Level as I am and breezing through it wondering if there is a Level 6. Or perhaps a woman is at Level 1 and just barely keeping her nose above water. There is no room for comparison when it comes to what God has asked each of us to do. That is between that person and the LORD. Please hear me when I say I am no better than the ladies who are doing Levels 1,2, 3 or 4. And I'm no less than the one that already has the Book of James memorized. My point is, right now, God has called me to do something that is a big commitment for me and I am starting to feel a bit overwhelmed. Not overwhelmed to the point that I need to back away from any of it just a bit weighted down.
If life starts to get busy in one area, wouldn't it be interesting if we could push the hold button and pause the rest of life? But life continues to happen. In the midst of a crazy ministry time my kids still need to get here and there; the laundry still needs to be washed, folded and put away; the meals still need to be planned, bought and prepared; my volunteer time at the kids' school is still something that needs to be fulfilled; my husband still needs an attentive wife; etc.... You know what I am talking about, I'm sure your life is just as full if not fuller.
This past Sunday, my son's hockey team had a "Chic's With Sticks" night. This is the one time of year that the hockey players have the opportunity to play against their mom, sister, grandma, or aunt. I was not going to let my son be the only skater on the ice without his Mama. So I laced up my skates, put on some breezers (the padded shorts hockey players wear), strapped on some elbow pads, and snapped on a helmet and took my tired body out on the ice with hopes that I could walk away. That's all I was hoping for...just to walk away...not wheeled out in a wheelchair, not rolled away on a gurney, not rushed to the ER in an ambulance..I simply wanted to be able to walk away with no broken bones or life altering injury.
I never dreamed I would have had so much fun on the ice! Ethan was such a gentleman. He used encouraging words and "played easy" on me. I even scored a goal! And the best part, I could feel God's pleasure the whole time. My Father was right there laughing and having fun with me. In the midst of the busyness, the LORD wanted me to have some fun with Him! Thank You, Father, for Your grace!
That night the LORD reminded me that sometimes He and I have work to do but that does not mean we can't have fun. I am so thankful He knows when I need a good belly laugh.
Now, Father, I am ready to get back to James.....help me understand what You meant when You said 'humbly accept the word planted in you'.....
This study has five Levels of Involvement. They all stack on top of each other. Level 1 is watching a weekly video; Level 2 is watching a weekly video and doing five days of homework; Level 3 is watching a weekly video, doing the homework and handwriting the Book of James; Level 4 is watching a weekly video, doing the weekly homework, handwriting the Book of James and reading articles on that week's study material; and Level 5 is watching the weekly videos, doing the weekly homework, handwriting the Book of James, reading the articles and memorizing the Book of James.
Each participant is encouraged to ask the LORD where their Level of Involvement should be. Because the LORD has challenged me to do all five Levels I constantly find myself in the Book of James. Preparing for small group, getting my thoughts together for large group sessions, doing my weekly homework, reading the articles, trying to memorize a few more verses....my mind is stuffed with James' words.
There may be a woman that is at the same Level as I am and breezing through it wondering if there is a Level 6. Or perhaps a woman is at Level 1 and just barely keeping her nose above water. There is no room for comparison when it comes to what God has asked each of us to do. That is between that person and the LORD. Please hear me when I say I am no better than the ladies who are doing Levels 1,2, 3 or 4. And I'm no less than the one that already has the Book of James memorized. My point is, right now, God has called me to do something that is a big commitment for me and I am starting to feel a bit overwhelmed. Not overwhelmed to the point that I need to back away from any of it just a bit weighted down.
If life starts to get busy in one area, wouldn't it be interesting if we could push the hold button and pause the rest of life? But life continues to happen. In the midst of a crazy ministry time my kids still need to get here and there; the laundry still needs to be washed, folded and put away; the meals still need to be planned, bought and prepared; my volunteer time at the kids' school is still something that needs to be fulfilled; my husband still needs an attentive wife; etc.... You know what I am talking about, I'm sure your life is just as full if not fuller.
I never dreamed I would have had so much fun on the ice! Ethan was such a gentleman. He used encouraging words and "played easy" on me. I even scored a goal! And the best part, I could feel God's pleasure the whole time. My Father was right there laughing and having fun with me. In the midst of the busyness, the LORD wanted me to have some fun with Him! Thank You, Father, for Your grace!
That night the LORD reminded me that sometimes He and I have work to do but that does not mean we can't have fun. I am so thankful He knows when I need a good belly laugh.
Now, Father, I am ready to get back to James.....help me understand what You meant when You said 'humbly accept the word planted in you'.....
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